nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
