K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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