what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
