Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
