I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
