So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i think my cat just said my name.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
