You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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