mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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