Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
