In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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