So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
