so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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