apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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