walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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