I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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