Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
