dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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