I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
