worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
