To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
