i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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