words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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