Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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