yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
