My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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