Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
