I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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