Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
How naked do you want me to be?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
