1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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