I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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