Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
