my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
