Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
