maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
