i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
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I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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