he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
