so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
