Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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