I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
