it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
