Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
