3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i think i scared a bird with my dick
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
