alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
