coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
