when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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