i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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