Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
