I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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