That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
