Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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