WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
