margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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