Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
