He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
