I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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