I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
