I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
