i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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