We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
