I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize