i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
