THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
