dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
