Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
