My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
