I think i sorta joined a cult last night
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
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